I have always wondered what would happen if everyone was to really follow the “gandhigiri” approach and started blurting out truth and nothing but truth treading the lines of utmost frankness and brash outspoken-ness. Imagine the plight that might be post a post-match post*1 by Rulati the Radiator*2 on his FB status-update, right after his team’s thumping win over the Siachen’s Glaciers:
“Team we won. Yay we won. Big deal boys so feel awesome about it by all means. But not that big a deal, I mean we kicked Glaciers’ asses, I mean could we have been against an easier team? What chances did they have with stalwarts like Knee pun’s hur mah, They Vomit , Ra Wee Ran eh and Khun Al Andy on our side? F..K that. They never had a chance to win to start with, not when their captain bowls a 37-run wicketless over to only a mediocre batsman in our lineup..LOL. Go Radiators, hopefully next time we’ll do even better with a bigger margin of win, but honestly that’s difficult given the Funters are out orredi and yeah Glaciers, well played my a$%…Rot in hell Glaciers”
Hmm..you get the drift, don’t you? Clearly as much as we all paste and flaunt on our FB profile page under “About yourself:” section that : “Oh I am a very simple guy/girl who lives an honest life, appreciates frankness and travels to the most exotic places on this planet. I am outspoken and candid, like it or not ..LOL ;) (*wink*wink*)” or something on those lines, truth be told, honesty needs to be in moderation.
Alright, we all know that something..like this “Well placyed Radiators well deserved win, but the Glaciers too really played well a gave us a good fight, but hard luck. We were just too good today. But another day, another game. All the best guys..” is far more acceptable than the chest thumping post match war cry as was illustrated at the start of this post. Yet, in spite of being polished and politically correct,at times, some people are still sensitive enough to be offended easily by one of the posts or comments or remarks. Like “Modi needs to play a more meaty shot to cut through the gap on a ground like the Oval..” which can easily upset Modi and lead him into thinking that someone is poking at his vegetarianism and guess what, hell could soon break loose in the form of a new set of rules where the non-vegetarians get -5 for killing lot of animals, therefore causing eco-system imbalance and therefore causing untimely rainfalls and therefore putting RRPL games at risk due to the vagaries of the rainfall in Singapore (that’s enough logic, na?)
As an author with supreme linguistic skills and an astute sense of framing sentences, I am going to give 3 valuable tips on how to come up posts that don’t offend anyone (read: especially Modi, A Raptorial Bird*3 and Funter) .
1.‘Front-foot Back handed complimenting’ posts:
Definition: Start with a praise but end with a strong criticism however. Basically cover the scorching criticism to follow with sugary words upfront.
Example: The HOF entails such a lot of work and attention to the details, the nuances, that one can’t help but wonder how brilliantly gifted Modi is with spreadsheet skills. It is therefore only logical that some glaring errors crop up from time to time, like I was recorded for a duck when I scored 2 freakin runs..sigh!!
2. ‘Reverse swinging doosra’ posts:
Definition: Turn what comes across as a harsh criticism into a nicety just before it lands.
Example: Scores of 1,2,4,1,1,0,2 in the last 7 games should really put Mr. Funter to utmost shame, but we all know what a legend he is (lol). Modi is doing great work with the HOF. Kudos my buoy (*wink*wink*)
3. ‘15 degrees or lesser, what-the-chuck’ posts:
Definition: Mask the harshness within your post such that only 15% of your post contains the criticism, nevertheless your core point, meshed between niceties and flowery words which is nothing but a mask.
Example: RRPL is the best thing to have happened in my life since the invention sliced bread with Kaya. I love Modi. Wee Jie She Ji is dropping a lot these days damn it old man! I love HOF. I even wake up dreaming about nothing but a bunch of boys playing cricket at Rivervale Oval even though I am single and could be dreaming about Sherlyn Chopra teaching me C++ and Fire-fox etc. I hope every pic on RRCC gets at least a 100 likes. Hail RRCC, love you guys. Catch some of you in my dreams J
I hope you do take advantage of the skills that I have just imparted. I might sound like I am boasting my a$% off but truth be said, these skills are valuable enough to take to to the upper echelons within your corporate world too. I have had many who have thanked me for these valuable tips and I really am open to all kinds of compliments and praises. Keep’em coming.
Lovingly yours,
Rocket Singh
References:
*1 : Heights of alliteration na? using 3 “posts” in a small sentence, how good is that? J
*2 : Names have been conveniently changed under the directive of “RRCC moderate freedom of speech act version 2012 – version 3.1
*3 : According to the distinguished Ninja dictionary the definition for “Raptorial” is “Living by preying on other animals especially by catching living prey. Examples: Vultures, Eagles, Kite etc etc (you get the point right?) ”. Again this is being used in line with the above mentioned RRCC freedom of speech act.
'The SPIRIT' Alcohol Content 5.0% (ABV) illustrated:
“Team we won. Yay we won. Big deal boys so feel awesome about it by all means. But not that big a deal, I mean we kicked Glaciers’ asses, I mean could we have been against an easier team? What chances did they have with stalwarts like Knee pun’s hur mah, They Vomit , Ra Wee Ran eh and Khun Al Andy on our side? F..K that. They never had a chance to win to start with, not when their captain bowls a 37-run wicketless over to only a mediocre batsman in our lineup..LOL. Go Radiators, hopefully next time we’ll do even better with a bigger margin of win, but honestly that’s difficult given the Funters are out orredi and yeah Glaciers, well played my a$%…Rot in hell Glaciers”
Hmm..you get the drift, don’t you? Clearly as much as we all paste and flaunt on our FB profile page under “About yourself:” section that : “Oh I am a very simple guy/girl who lives an honest life, appreciates frankness and travels to the most exotic places on this planet. I am outspoken and candid, like it or not ..LOL ;) (*wink*wink*)” or something on those lines, truth be told, honesty needs to be in moderation.
Alright, we all know that something..like this “Well placyed Radiators well deserved win, but the Glaciers too really played well a gave us a good fight, but hard luck. We were just too good today. But another day, another game. All the best guys..” is far more acceptable than the chest thumping post match war cry as was illustrated at the start of this post. Yet, in spite of being polished and politically correct,at times, some people are still sensitive enough to be offended easily by one of the posts or comments or remarks. Like “Modi needs to play a more meaty shot to cut through the gap on a ground like the Oval..” which can easily upset Modi and lead him into thinking that someone is poking at his vegetarianism and guess what, hell could soon break loose in the form of a new set of rules where the non-vegetarians get -5 for killing lot of animals, therefore causing eco-system imbalance and therefore causing untimely rainfalls and therefore putting RRPL games at risk due to the vagaries of the rainfall in Singapore (that’s enough logic, na?)
As an author with supreme linguistic skills and an astute sense of framing sentences, I am going to give 3 valuable tips on how to come up posts that don’t offend anyone (read: especially Modi, A Raptorial Bird*3 and Funter) .
1.‘Front-foot Back handed complimenting’ posts:
Definition: Start with a praise but end with a strong criticism however. Basically cover the scorching criticism to follow with sugary words upfront.
Example: The HOF entails such a lot of work and attention to the details, the nuances, that one can’t help but wonder how brilliantly gifted Modi is with spreadsheet skills. It is therefore only logical that some glaring errors crop up from time to time, like I was recorded for a duck when I scored 2 freakin runs..sigh!!
2. ‘Reverse swinging doosra’ posts:
Definition: Turn what comes across as a harsh criticism into a nicety just before it lands.
Example: Scores of 1,2,4,1,1,0,2 in the last 7 games should really put Mr. Funter to utmost shame, but we all know what a legend he is (lol). Modi is doing great work with the HOF. Kudos my buoy (*wink*wink*)
3. ‘15 degrees or lesser, what-the-chuck’ posts:
Definition: Mask the harshness within your post such that only 15% of your post contains the criticism, nevertheless your core point, meshed between niceties and flowery words which is nothing but a mask.
Example: RRPL is the best thing to have happened in my life since the invention sliced bread with Kaya. I love Modi. Wee Jie She Ji is dropping a lot these days damn it old man! I love HOF. I even wake up dreaming about nothing but a bunch of boys playing cricket at Rivervale Oval even though I am single and could be dreaming about Sherlyn Chopra teaching me C++ and Fire-fox etc. I hope every pic on RRCC gets at least a 100 likes. Hail RRCC, love you guys. Catch some of you in my dreams J
I hope you do take advantage of the skills that I have just imparted. I might sound like I am boasting my a$% off but truth be said, these skills are valuable enough to take to to the upper echelons within your corporate world too. I have had many who have thanked me for these valuable tips and I really am open to all kinds of compliments and praises. Keep’em coming.
Lovingly yours,
Rocket Singh
References:
*1 : Heights of alliteration na? using 3 “posts” in a small sentence, how good is that? J
*2 : Names have been conveniently changed under the directive of “RRCC moderate freedom of speech act version 2012 – version 3.1
*3 : According to the distinguished Ninja dictionary the definition for “Raptorial” is “Living by preying on other animals especially by catching living prey. Examples: Vultures, Eagles, Kite etc etc (you get the point right?) ”. Again this is being used in line with the above mentioned RRCC freedom of speech act.
'The SPIRIT' Alcohol Content 5.0% (ABV) illustrated: