Normally when I talk to people from non-cricketing nations, their reaction to cricket is in either of the two ways generally: Cricket WTF?
OR
Oooh cricket ah? Damn complicated, too long, too many rules etc etc
I can understand the first kind of reaction, I mean some Canadian talks to me about Curling* and I start talking about how straight hair is so much easier to manage etc… (shh..i love talking about hair dos..so what? Don’t judge..ok?); but it is really the second kind of reaction that irks me. How is cricket ever complicated?
I mean the rules are so much easier and there are replays and tea breaks and pee breaks etc etc to ponder over them. For the love of god I can’t understand the “offside” ruling and from whatever little I have seen, I don’t think the English footballers understand it either…and all this in world’s supposedly simplest
form of sport…simple my ass.
Look at this, how difficult is Duckworth Lewis to understand? You just stick in a number that you feel like and call it Duckworth Lewis and no one dares question about it for the fear of being looked down upon
as “cricket ignorant” which is a serious blasphemy in the Indian circles. Riding on this our greatest cricket pundit a.k.a Modi a.k.a Sachien Mittal said: " no one wants to look like an idiot, that's human behavior 101. But being the Rancho that I am ( in my own opinion) I take that theory to a practical stature. If someone asks me stuff I don't know about, like why team Scorpions is sitting high on the table despite shitty performances and big defeats, I just tell them it's an ICC formula, throw in a couple of credible looking links and people just simply shut up. No one wants to show off their ignorance or be seen as under-read" if knowledge ever was a weapon, sachien knows how to make lethal ones.
Fact is that no soul in RRCC knows completely what N+2 is . Very few know and understand it better than the rest. For instance Mohit Arrora recently cleared the intermediate course in N+2 and is one attempt
away from clearing stage 1 and joining the likes of Sachien Mittal and Anant Raj Gupta (ARG). ARG is a peculiar case because he undertook a correspondence course on N+2 via university of Wollongong well before joining RRCC. There are 4 stages before one can be deemed an N+2 expert* and no person in this living world is a PHD in N+2 yet**. The only person to have reached that zenith is Debasis Mohanty and
Srimati Pratibha Patil; afterall talented people have a league of their own.
The N+2 rule rose to prominence after a recently concluded tightly contested match between monsters and ninjas, which the Ninjas won on the field by a hairline margin, was eventually awarded to the Monsters as N+2 rule was violated by the Ninjas, albeit inadvertently. When we asked the Monster in chief for his comments, he refused to say anything in person but instead went home and started posting on Facebook the replies to our questions. Mohit put this up on Facebook: “I left the field during the match trusting Ghulati to carry us through, but didn’t realise that Ghulati isn’t smarter than a 5th grader when it comes to N+2; paanchvi pass se tez nahin hain yeh launda”. The only person to comment back on that post was Rama, who said “Monsters, I salute your sportsman spirit. Kudos to you”.
When we asked Shingte, the creator of N+2 for his comments he had this to say: " F#$k the rules; It's a sad day in history of sports. I never ever coined N+2 keeping such scenarios in mind. ", we reminded
him that he was on the winning side because of the ruling and he was quick to retract his earlier statement and had this to say now: "Faktha rules only baba. Rules are rules after... Whether u are a mhatre or baburao, rules apply to everyone. Arey baba itka simple rule ahey kai bolu…atha maazi satakli" and he went back to briskly combing his neatly shampooed hair.
Rama was pretty boisterous "I don't care about N+2, too out of league for the understanding of mere souls like HVR, Rane etc, but I just wanted to salute mohit's sportsman spirit” and Rama stormed away seen carrying a book titled “How to win hearts& make friends with unfriendly Semiconductor professionals in 12 days – by Swami Vijeshanand, Kullicke & Soffa”.
Finally When there was some pressure on the forum to understand what N+2 meant or stood for: This
was the explanation given- At any given point in time, the batting order of non bowling players should fall within a certain Predetermined position which is a beta coefficient formed by the intersection of the two lines, respectively representing the axis of jupiter's stellar constellation and saturn's imaginary tangent cutting across the equator of Capricorn at a point such that the resultant slope is a number which is equidistant from any two natural prime number. Also visually represented as:
Sachien calls this the abridged modern version of the N+2 rule Phew!!... And some claim that it is also known in simplified mandarin as Chu Ti Ya Gi Ri. Swami Vijeshanand in the meanwhile is working on the Vedic version of N+2. He stated that it is a heavy duty thesis and upon insisting offered a choice of the extract from the translation work so far:
Mathra batsmana Playerah bat up the order karishiye
Batting evam bowling playera bat lower down the order karishiye
Yada yada positionashyaha, yaadir bhava N+2 karishtayaami!
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius
PS:
*Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four rings (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curling)
** PHD in N+2 is a nearly unattainable degree and to illustrate it's difficulty it is (PHD in N+2) is equated to mastery of 4 vedas+Gangnam Style dance+a Masters Degree in Diffusion Mathematics+writing 2 white papers on Game Theory.
OR
Oooh cricket ah? Damn complicated, too long, too many rules etc etc
I can understand the first kind of reaction, I mean some Canadian talks to me about Curling* and I start talking about how straight hair is so much easier to manage etc… (shh..i love talking about hair dos..so what? Don’t judge..ok?); but it is really the second kind of reaction that irks me. How is cricket ever complicated?
I mean the rules are so much easier and there are replays and tea breaks and pee breaks etc etc to ponder over them. For the love of god I can’t understand the “offside” ruling and from whatever little I have seen, I don’t think the English footballers understand it either…and all this in world’s supposedly simplest
form of sport…simple my ass.
Look at this, how difficult is Duckworth Lewis to understand? You just stick in a number that you feel like and call it Duckworth Lewis and no one dares question about it for the fear of being looked down upon
as “cricket ignorant” which is a serious blasphemy in the Indian circles. Riding on this our greatest cricket pundit a.k.a Modi a.k.a Sachien Mittal said: " no one wants to look like an idiot, that's human behavior 101. But being the Rancho that I am ( in my own opinion) I take that theory to a practical stature. If someone asks me stuff I don't know about, like why team Scorpions is sitting high on the table despite shitty performances and big defeats, I just tell them it's an ICC formula, throw in a couple of credible looking links and people just simply shut up. No one wants to show off their ignorance or be seen as under-read" if knowledge ever was a weapon, sachien knows how to make lethal ones.
Fact is that no soul in RRCC knows completely what N+2 is . Very few know and understand it better than the rest. For instance Mohit Arrora recently cleared the intermediate course in N+2 and is one attempt
away from clearing stage 1 and joining the likes of Sachien Mittal and Anant Raj Gupta (ARG). ARG is a peculiar case because he undertook a correspondence course on N+2 via university of Wollongong well before joining RRCC. There are 4 stages before one can be deemed an N+2 expert* and no person in this living world is a PHD in N+2 yet**. The only person to have reached that zenith is Debasis Mohanty and
Srimati Pratibha Patil; afterall talented people have a league of their own.
The N+2 rule rose to prominence after a recently concluded tightly contested match between monsters and ninjas, which the Ninjas won on the field by a hairline margin, was eventually awarded to the Monsters as N+2 rule was violated by the Ninjas, albeit inadvertently. When we asked the Monster in chief for his comments, he refused to say anything in person but instead went home and started posting on Facebook the replies to our questions. Mohit put this up on Facebook: “I left the field during the match trusting Ghulati to carry us through, but didn’t realise that Ghulati isn’t smarter than a 5th grader when it comes to N+2; paanchvi pass se tez nahin hain yeh launda”. The only person to comment back on that post was Rama, who said “Monsters, I salute your sportsman spirit. Kudos to you”.
When we asked Shingte, the creator of N+2 for his comments he had this to say: " F#$k the rules; It's a sad day in history of sports. I never ever coined N+2 keeping such scenarios in mind. ", we reminded
him that he was on the winning side because of the ruling and he was quick to retract his earlier statement and had this to say now: "Faktha rules only baba. Rules are rules after... Whether u are a mhatre or baburao, rules apply to everyone. Arey baba itka simple rule ahey kai bolu…atha maazi satakli" and he went back to briskly combing his neatly shampooed hair.
Rama was pretty boisterous "I don't care about N+2, too out of league for the understanding of mere souls like HVR, Rane etc, but I just wanted to salute mohit's sportsman spirit” and Rama stormed away seen carrying a book titled “How to win hearts& make friends with unfriendly Semiconductor professionals in 12 days – by Swami Vijeshanand, Kullicke & Soffa”.
Finally When there was some pressure on the forum to understand what N+2 meant or stood for: This
was the explanation given- At any given point in time, the batting order of non bowling players should fall within a certain Predetermined position which is a beta coefficient formed by the intersection of the two lines, respectively representing the axis of jupiter's stellar constellation and saturn's imaginary tangent cutting across the equator of Capricorn at a point such that the resultant slope is a number which is equidistant from any two natural prime number. Also visually represented as:
Sachien calls this the abridged modern version of the N+2 rule Phew!!... And some claim that it is also known in simplified mandarin as Chu Ti Ya Gi Ri. Swami Vijeshanand in the meanwhile is working on the Vedic version of N+2. He stated that it is a heavy duty thesis and upon insisting offered a choice of the extract from the translation work so far:
Mathra batsmana Playerah bat up the order karishiye
Batting evam bowling playera bat lower down the order karishiye
Yada yada positionashyaha, yaadir bhava N+2 karishtayaami!
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius
PS:
*Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four rings (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curling)
** PHD in N+2 is a nearly unattainable degree and to illustrate it's difficulty it is (PHD in N+2) is equated to mastery of 4 vedas+Gangnam Style dance+a Masters Degree in Diffusion Mathematics+writing 2 white papers on Game Theory.